” Cause I’ve had my heart broken before and I promised I would never let me hurt anymore. But I tore down my walls and opened my doors and made room for one. So baby I’m yours”-Alessia Cara
My Dating App Experience
In this post I would like it to be lighter and a little more fun than my traditional writing. I’m in a great relationship now but once upon a time I was a part of the dating scene and let me tell you, I don’t miss it!
Before meeting my boyfriend I had some serious relationships and some not so serious. I went on many dating app dates. I was on Bumble, Hinge and even Tinder for a little while. I went on dates from each site and basically 80% of them sucked. Most of the time it ended after one date, some went to date two and some went on for a few weeks. Very few actually turned into a relationship. I’m not saying I didn’t meet some great people along the way. I actually met some really interesting guys and reconnected with old friends. So the dating app world isn’t all bad.
Don’t Be Afraid To Be Honest About What You Want
I would like to tell you I was always looking for something serious but that would be a lie. There were times that I was looking for something more casual. What I did love about the dating apps was that you could find what you were looking for. I’ve heard people say ‘You can’t find something serious on dating apps’ and that just isn’t true. Are there a lot of people looking to hook up? Oh yes! But I found out there are even more people looking for something more serious but are afraid to say it, as if it’s taboo to want love.
The thing about dating apps, is you will only get what you’re looking for if you are honest with the people you are talking to. Make it known so you aren’t wasting your time or theirs. I fell into the trap, I liked someone and they said they didn’t want something serious and I thought, oh that’s totally fine, maybe eventually they’ll change their mind…..STOP! If you’re in that now, end it. The chance of them changing their mind is like 5%. When someone likes you and wants to date you, it doesn’t take months, they know almost right away. Be honest with them and be honest with yourself.
I know it’s possible to find an actual relationship on dating apps because I have seen it. I have a few friends that have met the loves of their life on apps. I also met my current boyfriend on an app. Over the years my checkboxes of what I wanted changed slightly but for the most part my routine of swiping has basically stayed the same.
When I would swipe on an app I was obviously looking for someone attractive. Don’t lie, you know you do too because that’s how the dang thing is set up. You see a huge picture of their face before you even learn anything about them. Then I would look at their profession. I work hard and I want someone else who does too. Then I looked at their photos. Are they close with their family? Do they have a lot of friends? After that I will actually read their information. I would especially pay attention to what they were looking for. If they posted they wanted something different than me, they were swiped left. I would look to see if we had things in common. Such as music, movies, spare time activities. If we had enough in common then I would swipe right.
What I Ended Up Finding
When I finally came across my boyfriend on Hinge, I can’t explain it but I kind of knew he was going to be a big deal. He thinks it’s a lie when I say it but it’s true. I saw his profile and in my head I knew. Sort of like a virtual love at first sight.
I feel I got lucky because he does check off all of my boxes. Most of the things that checked off my boxes weren’t things I learned about him through his profile, they were things I learned by spending time with him. The more I learned about him the more I fell in love with him. He checks off all the silly boxes like how he listens to music all day, or how we both love the show FRIENDS. But he also checks off all the big boxes, like how he cares for other people and how understanding he can be.
Dating apps are great for introducing you to people but you have to do the leg work too. If it feels off then it probably is. We can’t forget that love is an in-person emotion. The way we go about dating may be new but the fundamentals of love haven’t changed. I never understood why there was no solid answer on how to meet the one. You can’t look for it, you can’t force it, it really just has to come to you.