– A mental process initiated, typically unconsciously, to avoid conscious conflict or anxiety
How Do Defense Mechanisms Form?
Your life is full of events that involve actions and reactions. Over time, those events turn into memories and under those memories, lie unconsciously learned habits or behaviors. We go through events and we learn how we react, how others react and the outcome of those reactions. We take all of that information in and our minds process how to handle it all in the blink of an eye. As we get older we end up finding ourselves with more and more “emotional baggage”. This has been coined as a negative term but our baggage is really just our minds way of defending us from the same shit happening again. We are protecting ourselves from hurt, pain, and sadness. Everyone has these reactions, whether it be in our anxiety, or the quick snappy comments we sometimes say. In turn, these learned responses can effect how we treat others and how we treat ourselves.
How I’m Here to Help
Over the years I have learned and identified many of my defense mechanisms. It was not an easy task and I’m still learning more everyday. I had to go through failed relationships, lost opportunities and days of sitting, starring at a wall to put some of these pieces together. After all of it, I now go into my relationships saying, this is me and this is why. And, after learning what causes my behaviors, I have been able to unlearn them for the better. In this blog, I will share stories from my unique childhood, stupid college years and my ever changing adult life. Each part of my life made me who I am and with this blog, I hope to help others realize their anxiety, stress and weird quirks are normal and make you, YOU!